Photo credit: Ammodramus, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons
You’ve probably seen the memes: the text I have a feeling my guardian angel looks like this often and a photo of an angel statue facepalming. It’s meant as humor, self-deprecating though it often is, and it hides a very real fear that no one wants to talk about.
What if my guides have given up on me?
What if I pissed them off?
What if my guides—or Source/Spirit/the Universe/God/Goddess—hate me?
What if I’m not worthy of divine guidance?
These are natural, human fears, ones that many of us wrestle with at various times, and they are all based on one forgotten truth: You are part of Source and Source is part of you. If you want to go even deeper, Source Energy is Love Energy and Love cannot unlove itself.
But, one may argue—and I know this because I have elevated arguing with my guides to an art form—what if I am the exception that proves the rule?
You’re not, and here’s how I know: no one incarnates alone. The task of selecting a potential lifetime, of choosing a family or childhood situation that will best help your soul experience what it wants to experience as the full expression of itself, is not done alone. There are guides and helpers, teachers and mentors, friends and loved ones all along the way. Your soul may choose to have more hands-on guides after incarnation or more hands-off, but even if your soul chose one or the other prior to incarnation, you can always change your mind later. Guides are huge fans of free will.
Guides will never tell you that they’re done with you, that they’re giving up, that you’ve done something unforgivable, or that you don’t deserve them. It’s simply not in their metaphorical DNA to do that. What’s much more likely is some trauma, perhaps buried, perhaps not, in which someone in power—parent, adult relative, clergy, teacher, caregiver, partner, etc.—told you one or more of those things. Perhaps they said or implied that there was something wrong with you. Perhaps they said God couldn’t love someone like you because you weren’t or you’re not [fill-in-the-blank]. (Straight, well-behaved, quiet, normal, a particular religion, obedient, etc.)
They are wrong.
Perhaps they cannot love someone who is [fill-in-the-blank], but they do not speak for the All That Is. Perhaps they do not know how or are unwilling to love unconditionally, but the Universe does and can.
We are all connected. We are part of Source and Source is part of us and anyone who denies love to another based on subjective classifications like skin color or gender identity or sexuality or religion or nationality is also denying that connection with and being part of Source.
I have this sort of trauma in my background. My parents must have thought I was extremely powerful because I had the ability to ruin entire holidays by not behaving exactly as they wanted. I was blamed for my father’s heart attack and my mother’s cancer. When they were still alive, my parents cast themselves as victims and me as the perpetrator when I called some of their treatment of me abusive. Relatives sided with them; some betrayed my trust. For years, my parents gaslit me, giving me every reason to believe that there was something wrong with me.
Fortunately, I had my guides with me. They countered the angry, shaming messages with their own messages of unconditional love and acceptance. They might be the reason I survived.
Until one day when I was about fifteen, a day when my mom found out I was talking with my guides and writing down what they said, and for my own safety, I shut it down. It wasn’t conscious. I really wanted to know they were with me. But for three months, it was silence from them.
I worried that I had done something wrong. Maybe I’d failed them by not hiding my journals well enough. Maybe they weren’t even real, and this was all some sort of mental illness like my mom said.
Things went from bad to worse at home and I created a plan to end it all. But my guides literally—and rather physically—stepped in and stopped me.
I had done nothing wrong, they said. There was nothing to forgive. There was no reason for me to blame myself. No matter what, I would always be loved. No matter what, even if I couldn’t hear them, they would be there for me.
There are no conditions on unconditional love. You do not have to think, believe, behave, or look any certain way to be loved by Source/Spirit/the Universe/God/Goddess and your guides.
The only question is: are you open to receiving it?
If you are open, or if you’d like help becoming open to meeting or deepening your relationship with your guides, set up an Illumination Call today and we’ll have a conversation and see if we’re a good fit.